Cardiac Arrest

It has been awhile since i rammed my head on a wall. Realization is such a pain in the ass sometimes. I wanna kill Cupid for he's too troublesome for every human being...but of course, I failed. I believe that the artists and story-tellers made a good job of sculpting what we knew of our world today. And the damn scientists have proven everything these imaginative dreamers came up with. We’re just suckers to believe everything that satisfies our craving of trying to explain everything, or more likely, just bored out of our wits. Just looking for entertainment.

Meeting WALL • E
I never would’ve thought Pixar’s latest flick Wall•E, would be that impressive. I was impressed hands down. Not just that, I love that dirty piece of metal junk cleaner. Hmmm… if I remember correct, the name stands for Waste Allocator Load Lifter – Earth Class. Thus, the name. in shorter terms, it’s the garbage collector. Hahaha imagine all the filth humans has accumulated left our good Mother Earth to just simply be left wasted and forgotten. And the startling sad fact is…its already happening. That future is just a glimpse away. Tsk.Tsk.

The movie started with that sad fact that everything you see on Earth is a waste. Tall buildings that were so familiar in many Hollywood films were reduced to the presence of the towering garbage that the robots have built for how many years. And the silence was deafening. Earth is such a fucking wasteland. Its so grim, that kids as young as four would say loudly for everyone in the cinema to hear “Are those all garbage?” it made me want to tell the kid, “Yup. And one of those garbage happens to be your own crap.” Hehe. Its just so silent, well not that silent that you don’t really hear anything, but the kind of silence that says you are alone. Of course, the only Earth resident at that time is Wall•E who pretty much enjoys working while listening to a very classic musical song. With only its pet cockroach for company, it enjoys the simplicity of life. Until, it came face-to-face with EVE (which Wall•E pronounces as eee-v-ahh). I can’t help but sympathize for Wall•E’s effort to get to know EVE. I mean being alone and all, meeting EVE brought something out of Wall•E. I guess it brought out the palaboy in itself. Hahaha. Something to look forward to and another robot to converse with.

Wall•E’s so cute when he’s shaking because Eve can really be deadly^^ It grew on me. And the fact, that I would really love to kick some numbskull who is so lazy to get up and move their body around, this is my big fucking middle finger to them. “You don’t use them, then you lose them.” I forgot where I heard this line before, but it is pretty much appropriate, to describe the lack of concern of humans in their surroundings. >:D That’s why I love this film. And that, coming from somebody who is skeptic about this particular movie in the first place. Now Wall•E and EVE is towering over me whenever I wake up, because nowadays, they usually hang around my bedside :D

I am an Eagle
(“I believe I can fly…” hehe)

Introduction - The Astrology of Time
The ancient Maya and Aztec astrologers studied the mysterious influence of the rhythms of the sky on earthly life. Everyone knows the Sun rises and sets every day -- this is the basic rhythm of life around which we set our clocks and calendars. What the ancient astrologers discovered was that other time cycles existed that were multiples of this basic day cycle. This fact was discovered about 100 years ago in Europe and these cycles (there are many of them) are now called biorhythms.

The most important time cycles in ancient Mayan and Aztec astrology are those of the day, 9-days, 13-days, and 20-days. Additionally, years are counted also, in groups of 4 and 13. Each day is then part of several other cycles, so no two days are exactly the same. Keep in mind that our personalities are complex and contain many contradictions. All of us present a different "face" depending on who we meet. The delineations below will reflect this, but they will also give you a clear picture of who you really are. The true value of astrology lies in self-knowledge, the first step to wisdom.

those on-line tests are a real fascination for me. there are no girls (even guys) that I know who didn’t took one of those darn foolish tests whenever they come across one. it is already (somewhat) a given notion that girls love to try these out…you know? out of curiosity and fun. hehe. Well so much so, that it surprises me that guys would do as well (pointers about girls, they say). okay, enough of the intro. I just answered one. a bit more on the astrological, psychological…albeit, scientific and historical way of knowing one’s self. the Mayan-Aztec astrology. what the hell. just for fun. based on experience, some of the results can really boggle one’s head as to how come truth can slap you in the face, hard. And I’ll just gonna go through the points. It may be wrong or right. I may be just a bit beyond being gullible, hallucinatory, stupid, and just plain bored out of my head.

You are Eagle Eagle: You like to be a free spirit. You would probably just take-off for parts unknown but you usually have some complex relationship issues to deal with, so you don’t. But you like time alone. You have your own set of rules in life that has developed from your own unique perspective on things and you tend to take an experimental approach to many areas of your life. At worst, you can become too self-involved. At best, you are a person who pioneers changes and furthers new developments in the social world.

this is real creepy. Hahahaha maybe because of the fact that i am a crab. born in the sign of cancer according to the horrorscopes…oops! horoscopes :D and yes. i am a gagong palaboy. a professional wandering unintentional bastard. i wish I could change the social world, but then it would be wishful thinking because as people, we are such hard-headed creatures to begin with. hehe God would’ve been taking tons of stress tabs, i bet. i second the mention on my worst though. true. but I realized, that as humans…we were built to further any upgrade or downgrade that we may wish to have for self-improvement. that is, if we realize it before the expiration period runs after each one of us.

Besides…it doesn’t sound too bad to be an eagle in the Mayan-Aztec astronomical order. Just a piece of knowledge for human brain consumption. damn those Happy peanuts and mixed liquors.

dead batt.

Three weeks.
It wasn’t like being in a Hell Week all over again. Rather, it’s more of draining all the power after all the tasks at hand were done. I am literally having a case of being dead batt. I’m finding it cool at the moment. Oh the perpetual vision that I have of doing–nothing. Wahahahaha. Oooooh... and I’m loving it. Back to old school hip-hop with Masta Plann. All those rhyming and cool disc scratching plus easy to sing along chorus makes me remember the times when I’m not always staring face-to-face with a computer monitor.

Three weeks.

And it made me remember that I can be both superhuman and subhuman all at the same time. That 24 hours is not enough. So much so that it doesn’t seem to matter anymore, just the deadline. I’ve turned into a schizo in no time. Balancing two…rather…four personas without running into each other is but a feat well achieved. A respect not well earned. Oh well. Just sacrificed somethings to accomodate all the tasks i have on my plate (however disgruntled i am, i hope it was worth it), not being able to sleep (come on! I have to clean these things…that’s what I was being paid to do. just don't fucking tell me that i didn't do the task at hand. that's too much of a low blow-below-the-belt cowardice), and having nightmares when I’m fuckingly wide awake. haaay anything just to earn a living. haha good thing friends around keep the gagong palaboy in check. oh by the way, that printing proof that you sent was a disaster. huh?whatthefuck...how many logo designs do they want?... what?again. i didn't quite catch what you're driving at...how in the world could you make a snowflake –artfully done?!... make the voice over glossy?!... so they like the red and the purple, they also want it shimmering, glimmering and glossy talent?... i believe when they say they wanted comic sans, they are pertaining to any handwritten type fonts...do they want to delete it or do they wanted to change it then bring it back again after being deleted?... a brave new word for "revision" is termed as "amendment".

Thank goodness, my brain cells (which is by the way just gotten out of the rut meeting The Wall along the way, which hinders my productivity to a mere definite zero) didn’t conked out of me. Whew! At least, Naughty By Nature, The Beastie Boys and Francis Magalona kept me in check.


You’ve got to fight for your right to paaaaaaaaarrrr….tey!

Another Busy Weekend


September is almost ending. I was geared up for the weekend becoming a literal weekend warrior as Friday turned to Saturday. I was useless the whole day (Friday) because of a hangover from a night out with friends to answer our weeklong craving for a beer. And it was a toss up when a friend of mine (from another batch) was confirming me to be available for a tv show shoot early Saturday. Ergo, I would have to tuck in to bed and get up early. It was a fun day Saturday. I’m back at the training grounds again. Feeling how my body would react especially my rehabilitating limb from the activity that I sorely miss because of my injury. And it was okay. Not okay just like before. Just okay, fine, I’m managing. Damn it. Here comes fear again. This time around I need to push harder. Fear instilled itself on my freaking body. I’m so eager to break him off from me. Hehe. Plus, I hang around with the guys again. I miss them really. It was fun to know that there are newbies in the group and that our troop is getting bigger :D we’ve got a handful of talented students. And a friend of mine manages to drop on by and join us^^ Yes! now, I’m not the only female in the group. Though we have other two who were not actively participating yet because of some other stuff. Yey! Now, my friend wants to join. By the way, she’s good. She could do pull ups better than I do. (okay, I can’t do pull ups really haha). And the shoot was cool. Aside from sitting side by side with a good-looking show host, our group is actually being featured in a show launching vehicle come Monday. (ooh I can’t wait. I made a booboo I think.) I was the group’s camera person that day. I don’t mind though because of my injury rehab. And my friend is really panicking with me lugging his camera while I jump and run around with them. Hahahaha I took cool hanging in the air motion shots. It was fun. we ended around 4pm. I have to rush immediately to a printing shop so I can ready all the equipments and materials I will use for my personal projects nearing its deadline. Good thing, it fell on a Tuesday. The good part is miscalculating my calendar. So I am one day ahead of the deadlines. Officially, it’s a Monday now. The whole Sunday was dedicated to my unfinished personal projects. And when I did get my sleep, I woke up with a clear head showing me reels of what I’ll be doing once I’m in the zone. Hehe. a couple of logo design ideas were popping up. But I don’t know as to what they’re for. I’ll deal with them some other time. I have to revise the writing project that I have. Not that I aim for it to be super duper Nobel-Prize award winning literary piece. I just want it to be uhm…a better-told story. Or something that my English teachers back in highschool would mark it in lieu of how the story would be told OR anyone would be able to understand what I’m babbling about. I am not a writer. I just love writing. I aim to improve my communication skills in writing, which I put on the sidelines to give way to talking visually. Now it’s done. Here comes the bigger project that I need to finish because I’ll be personally delivering it early morning. A mag cover and an exhibit piece is enough to keep me occupied. I encountered The Wall along the way, which rendered my concept forming capabilities null. But good thing I had an idea formed already, its just the works that’s bothering me. Thank God the submission deadline was extended til the end of the month. I was already moving along thinking everything is lost, but hope comes tugging me back for a moment.^^ ooh I love looking at myself smeared with and playing with paints hahaha I’m not to be bothered til my project’s finish. I miss doing this concept and mixing modern and traditional way of making a piece. Though it does look like a student work, I’m still happy as I applied the finishing touches. :D and for the last project, again, it’s a literary piece. I just want to enter something that I have done from the past, because it fell right smack on a theme. Just for the fun of submitting. Maybe some would see its worth or something. It’s just so tiring to read my own stuff when I can impart something (I wish) to others. Maybe they can make sense of it more than it made sense to me. So there. A busy but fun weekend.

Stop and Stare

she gazed into his eyes
and found nothing but anger and shame
of times long forgotten;
of skin touching skin;
breath taking in breath;
body and soul intertwining in the dark;
silent echoes of thoughts unspoken.

she believes in magic.
he believes in the parody of the world
being thrown around.
she stared at him
like nothing else matters;
he stared in her eyes
looking for a tear to fall,
but found none.

there it was
pounding against their bare and withered chests;

"hold me.
hold me tight."
said she.

"kiss me.
kiss me goodnight."
said he.

but their lips didn't dare move.
and their hands never touched.
they're inches apart;
years beyond the stars.

he gazed into her eyes
and found nothing but anger and shame
of times long forgotten;
of skin touching skin;
breath taking in breath;
body and soul intertwining in the dark;
silent echoes of thoughts never spoken.
until the magic and the parody fades away
and left with nothing but a silent wish
whispered in the dead air of the night.