25
25 songs for the occassion
Wasted - L.P. / I Believe - peter searcy / Still Fighting It - ben folds five / I'm Yours - jason mraz / The Scientist - coldplay / Flowers On the Window - travis / Ironic - alanis morisette / Come As You Are - nirvana / I Feel So - boxcar racer / Paalam Sampaguita -yano / Tindahan ni Aling Nena - eraserheads / Awit ng Kabataan -rivermaya / Youth - matisyahu / Buses and Trains - bachelor girl / Akala - parokya ni edgar / Here, There, Everywhere -the beatles / Pieces - Sum41/ Champagne Supernova -oasis / The World That I Know - collective soul / Losing My Religion - r.e.m. / Everyday People - arrested development / Good Intentions - toad the wet sprocket / Basketcase - greenday / Lose Yourself - eminem / Firestarter - the prodigy
i am the gagong palaboy. 25 years old. this is my rank (salutes with the middle finger). and this is my position (shows right hand with a raised middle finger upfront). if you have a problem with that, then it's not my problem...it's yours. so go fucking solve it yourself. bwahahaha
"Let's see how far we've gone..." i heard Matchbox twenty screaming to my ears. let's see... it's been quite a hell of a journey, but i managed. they managed. they made me listen. they made me follow. and then, i figured that defiance is the reality of listening and following. and asking questions will expand one's perspective about the world that we live in. i was so sure and comfortable of everything that i know of, only to find out everything is not quite what it/they seem. i held on to my own principles and beliefs, only to swallow back everything that i said, did, been doing, and will be doing. and i have to break everything... both physically, mentally, and emotionally. i have to learn to say "no" , "goodbye" and lose a tear or two, to everything that i don't want to lose. everything that needed to be set free. i have to cross both heaven and hell, the gray areas in between, gain wings and lose horns, gain horns and lose wings...just to know how to look for me, amidst all the noise and confusions. and i'm still looking. as everyone does. every once in awhile, a hand or two will be offered to me. and so would i. sometimes, i offer me. every once in awhile, i wanted to see everyone smile. a sincere smile. sometimes i am a success; sometimes i am a failure. most of the times, i'm both. so i go back to step one and figure it all out again. i was brought up not to be a quitter. and i learned in the long run, that sometimes, quitting can become an ally. faith told me lying is bad. faith taught me how to become a liar. trust and honesty were reduced to words to be thrown around like paper post its, only to be forgotten altogether but posted anyhow until it was remembered. "it's bad to wear your heart on your sleeve", they told me. but it's all i got left when my brain can't take it anymore. "always use your head", they told me. but it does feel empty when the heart stops beating or just bleed itself 'til it reaches its bursting point.
i believe some would agree. and some would not.
free will. but is there really any? all it takes to end all choices is – a decision. and every decision has its own pros and cons. the truth? are you willing...or rather, brave enough to know the truth? there are only five questions: the what?, the why?, the how?, the when?, and the where? miscommunication happens when one shuts down or suddenly fails to listen. relationships falter when one becomes divided into two and then subtracted from each other leaving the other left standing and the other disappearing into thin air. life is not fool-proof. chances and instances makes surprise appearances. along the highway we'll encounter a ditch or a fork: left, middle, or right...some without anything but a wall or a big gaping chasm. i've cut and bruise myself (broken a few bones too), scarring myself for life. that's what life's greatest teacher taught me. experience the moment. etch it deeper through the skin. these were my marks.
i've met people. i love them all. different people. some same as me. some far more different from who i am. there are angels and demons. there are heroes and heroines. there are winners and losers. champion and challengers. leaders and followers. fighters and lovers. solo act and team. sorcerers and pranksters. genius and the not so genius. there are bricks, and sure there are a lot of pricks. some are enemies. some are allies. there were some that are basically two-faced. the world is full of criminals and mobsters. i've been one of them. one of those pieces in a puzzle. a sinner and a saint. beloved. hated. i thanked them all. i love them all. even those whose face are hidden by their masks.
we're all travelers. we all have our own expeditions to undertake. i have taken mine without realizing that i'm doing it. at 25, this is the farthest that i came to slack around, open a bottle of mixed vodka and savor the moment.
for now.
we'll see...
