the tale of the scatter brain

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i am standing in the center of the park (well sorta) facing a big blank concrete wall. it is huge. lying around me (forming a circle) are scattered bits and pieces of things: memories, fancy stuffs, memorabilias, scratch papers, notes, table napkins, toys, pictures, dvds and compact discs, broken casette tapes, peeled off posters and stickers...you know...stuffs. some are trash. some are useful. while some, makes up for feeding the appetite of fascination. and there are some that electrocute me in shock 'til i cried and beg for it to stop (letting go of those things that do so, is so easy...and then i kinda miss how it feels and so i go and pick it up again hehehe).

all of these scattered bits and pieces are the contents of my brain.
i suppose.
and i'm staring at the blank wall. looking for an answer to a puzzle that i can't seem to put together. trying to come up with one singular question to sum up all of these disjointed things laying around me. hoping. guessing. trying things out. i wanted to climb the wall. walk around it. but i know i can't. not at this very moment.

the wall is cold. i have to understand it. its silence. its being a wall.


The heart may freeze or it can burn. The pain will ease if I can learn... there is no future. There is no past. I live this moment as my last! There's only us... there's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road... no other way. No day but today...
-Rent

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this is where i stop from drifting for awhile.
now it's time to sort things out...